After recently going through an emotionally bruising breakup with Dude (aren’t they all though, eh?), I decided that one of the best things I can do for myself is to take some time out of the dating circus and spend more time in the garden. I've gotten to a point in my dating career where I am just exhausted by it all - the games, the posturing, the bullshit. As a naturally optimistic person, I've had my fair share of disappointments when it comes to relationships, but this last one has me feeling completely depleted. It sucks to find out that the person you've been dating has been secretly judging you, and stockpiling a list of hurtful, if subjective, observations. What ever happened to "This isn't going to work" or "I don't want to date you anymore?". Uugh. I digress.
The point of this ramble is that I'm officially out of the game until I get over the myriad complexes Dude shoved down my throat when we parted ways. So I'm not single and looking, I'm single and never want to have sex again and just want to play in the dirt and be happy in the sun. The garden doesn't talk back or make excuses or run away scared when it can't find the words. With the garden, you put in effort, you get something in return (and not a slap in the face). So I figured, what the hell garden, we might as well make this Facebook official (which, if you are under 30, is “official” official).
But no! When I attempted to input the info about our blissful union, Facebook cockblocked me. Only people who are on Facebook can be listed on your profile. So I made my garden a profile and after tinkering with it for a bit to see what would be accepted by the FB overlords, wham bam thank you Facebook, it’s official!
The news feed read "Jamilah is married to Her Garden".
I don’t know why I find this so damn amusing, but I do.
And it is nice to be amused by something right about now.
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